Hey lasses, lads, others. Weird stuff's been going at the wiki, but we're not worried about it. Just relax and listen to another one of Grandma Derek's shitty stories.
Marcel reminded me of this when we were Skyping last night about "DanillintheLionsDen". I told him I was looking for weird stories from when we were kids. He reminded me of this one. I just copied it over from the Skype chat. In his text color, no less!
"SO. YOU REMEMBER. THATWEIRDGROSSTREEINFRONTOFMYHOUSERITE.
The one that Amos got super excited about the first time he saw it? Boy's gotta weird tree thingy goin' on. He thinks that that oak tree in the school garden is Old Cyrus. WHO YOU GOTTA MAKE A PAGE FOR BY THE WAY.
SCUM.
Anyway. You know the tree. The one that has another tree growing out of it. So it's some sort of weird elephant trunk beastie? Yeah. You know of the things of which I speak.
Well, I remember once when we wuz havin' a sleepover at my place. We were telling spooky stories--it was mostly Garry and A.S. doing it, but I pitched in a few too. We did it over Pictochat 'cus o' me parents und their noise policy. (Derek Note: Ah, yes. I remember this Chat of Picto. And how...unbelievably shitty it was.) We were gettin' right freaked out, when suddenly we heard this loud meowing sound. Like a cat, but I didn't own a cat AS YOU FULLY KNOW. So we started looking outside (being as quiet-like as possible) to see if there was a cat out there. There wasn't. And we were all freaked 'cus we all agreed it sounded like it was coming from the living, where we wuz stationed.
We went back tuh storytellin'...Garry probably told somethin' confusing, A.S. maybe did too, he was startin' to get pretty obscure in those days...and the only nice was the sound of the wind outside. Maybe tapping from styli on Nintendo DS screens. It was probably about one in the mornin'.
And the MEOW GOES OFF AGAIN.
This time we really freaked, and we knew we had some weird nonsense on our hands--the weird nonsense had really leeched into our personal atmosphere at that point but we weren't crazy yet. So we knew we hadda sneak outta my house and go out into the night to seek BOLD ADVENTURE. Or somethin'. And so we started putting on our shoes as quietly as possible, gettin' flashlights, all that--Garry was cautious, but Jacob and Qom were all excited 'cus they were youngins. That was before Jacob left us, as you'll recall. Amos probably started quoting a dumb book or something. I just wanted to know if that obese guy who lived across from me had let his cat out agin, 'cus bein' the Good Samaritan I am, I was gonna give it back to the old guy even though he was a huge jerk (PUN INTENDED, BECAUSE HE IS/WAS FAT).
So we go out, start lookin' for this idiot cat. Jacob wants to play Ghost in the Graveyard. I tell him NO, THAT GAME IS FOR BABIES. He rolls his eyes 'cus even in those days he was a Master of Sass. We're wanderin' around in the dark, trying to catch the cat...
WE HEAR THE MEOW ONCE AGIN.
This time it comes from down the road. Towards the skatin' rink. We decide to start heading there, but I'm thinking (I don't know what you all were thinking then) that that meow sounded really weird. Not cuddly, like a real meow. More gravelly. More beasty-like. But also maybe more human.
We go down to the ice rink, and we're still lookin' around. I'm gettin' a bad feeling. A.S. said he was too, but that may've been for dramatic purposes. That's when Qom yells out that he sees somethin'.
It looked like a bundle of fur. 'Pon closer inspection, it was a cloak of some kind. It was blowing in the wind, but I thought I saw it shift a little. So I lead y'all, walkin' up to it...
All of a sudden I hear this SUPER LOUD growl as the cloak snaps back. There was a homeless guy under it, but I knew right away there was somethin' wrong with him. He...was hairy. Had a hairy face. But not just a beard--like, fur, all over his face. And he didn't have ears on the sides of his head either. He had pointy ears on top of his head.
I swear he was a cat person.
Suddenly, with a blur o' speed, he ran away, leavin' his cloak behind--but not before letting out one o' the most hideous screams I ever heard. Not a cat scream. Also, not a human scream. I'll never forget that, and I'm actually being dead serious for one of the few times in my life here. You probably remember it too. We ran back to the house. Locked ourselves in. But quietly. Still didn't want to wake up my folks.
We tried to go to sleep after that. I remember driftin' off at least. As I fell asleep, I remember thinkin' that that cloak was still back there...
After you chumps left, I did go back to the place. I wanted to find that cloak. But no dice--it was gone.
I still don't know how to explain that, but sometimes, when I look out at that gross tree in front of my house, I think that just a little bit off to the right, down the street, there was that guy. And I wonder where he is now."
So, yeah.
I'm going to fucking level with you, I don't remember this story precisely. But I do remember having a couple of stupid nightmares about werewolves. Maybe these two things are linked? Or maybe I read too many fucking Goosebumps books. Lord knows that Stine was fucking obsessed with werewolves.
Alberta's not that big, so maybe I'll swing down to that rink tomorrow. Marcel and I need to hang out besides work/Skype anyway.
Later.
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